Meeting the Piano

It was the most confusing thing in the household. Big, too, seeming to take up half of the study. Old, oaf-like, it gathered dust and was left to its own council. But it was always there - it was a resident of this household before I was. 

I had my back turned to it most of the time, pre-preoccupied by the computer screen and its many marvels. Sometimes, though, it seemed lonely, and so I would turn from the computer and try to figure it out. It only ever lead to more frustration and puzzlement. Why are you so hard to understand?! I would complain, striking it with stiff fingers. 

I guess the piano didn’t play quite like the drums… 

I didn’t really mind anyway. Me, playing the piano? It was a joke.. I had already found my instrument - I played the drums! And that was that. Maybe I could learn the piano in another lifetime. Those keys felt stubborn under my fingers. 

Until one day, I was fossicking around in the deep archives of Youtube, and I stumbled on a tremendous treasure. I found a video that would serve to change the course of my entire life forever… Not that my little self knew that. ‘A beautiful piano song’ just tasted like wonder in my ears. 

It stirred my heart like no other piece of music has ever done. This tune reached into the infinite caverns of my soul, and found where they ended. Somewhere along the way, it brought to life an affinity for the sound of the piano that sent me swivelling on my chair to behold that big wooden box behind me with eyes glowing in fascination. This piece of music was so heartbreakingly beautiful to me that I just wanted to … to play it! I wanted to play it myself; to summon it on command. I’m going to learn this song no matter what! I told myself. And so, I began.

I stooped into the computer screen to watch the video closely, trying to see where he was putting his fingers. It was blurry, but I made a rough estimate of where he was placing his hands, and turned to imitate it on the aged keys of our piano. It was a painfully slow process. But I kept at it, poring myself over the piano and the computer for hours, darting between the two, chipping away at the song one note at a time. Eventually, I got there. I had memorised the first 45 seconds!

It took me more than a month to learn the song in its entirety. It’s certainly not a beginner level piano piece! But its magic caught me such that I persevered right to the very end, to the day that I could bring it to life myself, with my own two hands, and on my own piano. With this one tune, I was able to give a voice to that dusty old box of wood - it was no longer a stranger in our house, hunched over and forgotten in the study. It was a new companion, and it sounded pleased to meet me. 

My parents saw to it that I got lessons. My nana was very fond of my new interest; she much preferred the softness of the piano, trickling from the study, as opposed to the chaotic drumming that would often shake the house. So she offered to pay for my tuition, and with her help, we found a young Chinese piano teacher nearby called William. He lived in a quaint bungalow at the end of a a bumpy driveway, teaching lessons on his lively piano that was just as friendly as he was.

Right from the beginning, William was a warm friend and a wonderful mentor. But there was a problem.

We started with various Grade 1 books, spending half of the lesson on music theory alone. My initial excitement to learn the piano dwindled as I sat at the table, fidgeting with my fingers and tapping my feet, trying to study the language of music on paper. Eventually, I sat the grade one music exam. It was as painful as trudging through a maths test without a calculator. Learning the piano started to feel like a chore.

It became evident that the The Modern School of Music’s conventional piano lessons didn’t serve to encourage me, but in fact stole away that original passion I had for the piano and for music. I was disinterested in practicing the scales and exercises William assigned to me, and when I sat in front of his piano every Wednesday, I staggered through the exercises as if my fingers were made of wood. I just wanted to play piano songs from Youtube that really stirred my soul. One day, William noticed this, and adapted his lessons to me and what I wanted to do.

From that point on, learning the piano was no longer a chore. It was an adventure! I foraged the internet for sheet music - the scripts of pieces I wanted to learn - and bounced down that long scraggly driveway to William’s house clutching them tightly. I was thankful to have a teacher who didn’t force me to swallow music, but let me enjoy it at my own leisure. 

Shortly after this, William signed me up for a piano competition, and the song I chose to perform was the Up theme tune. I already had practice competing and performing in Kung Fu competitions, but despite that, I was a trembling pile of bones waiting for my turn. Squeezed in-between the other kids who were my competitors, I raised a timid hand before me face - it was shaking uncontrollably. How am I going to play the right notes with hands like this?! It made me more nervous. I tried to ease my nerves by watching the other kids perform.

They all played quite well! But something was missing from many of them. Some played their pieces flawlessly, but without a smile, nor a tweak in their posture. Others gave me the impression that they didn’t want to be there at all, sitting there as if they had no choice in the matter. Another kid had his eyes glued to the sheet music, but translated it into very mechanical, stifled music. But maybe they were just nervous.. I was nervous, too …

To my surprise, I felt more calm when I sat in front of the piano. At last, my hands hushed their wild chattering, and rested on the keys comfortably. I filled the hall with my best rendition of the Up theme tune, pouring into it all the emotion I could muster. The judges liked my performance, but I never expected to win the competition that day. I wondered what it was about my playing that the judges favoured over the other kids…

Later that week, I got some insight into why.

My dad told me that he was once a grade 8 pianist! I was shocked, and thought he was fibbing. But mum confirmed it - he really did learn the piano up to grade 8, the highest tier in conventional piano lessons. And yet, I never heard nor saw him play a single note on the piano. He elaborated on how his teacher was old fashioned and strict; rigid in her ways and demanding. She cracked the whip, and made him learn by the books. If there was any passion in him for the instrument, it was drained by a dreadfully uninspiring method of teaching. I wondered if the kids I had competed against were in a similar predicament. Maybe they were forced to sit in front of the piano, instead of being there out of a sense of passion and exploration for the piano; for the box of magic. Maybe they had stale teachers.

William was Godsend. 

-- -- -- --

I seemed to only ever be interested in tackling extremely difficult pieces that I found on Youtube. I learnt a bold and epic tune called ‘All of Me’. I tried learning a manic rendition of the Simpsons theme tune. At one stage, I stumbled upon a video titled something along the lines of ‘UN Owen was Her? Death Waltz Impossible piano’. When I saw that title, only one thought crossed my mind. This song I want to learn!

Unfortunately, this approach to learning the piano was overly ambitious and cumbersome. In my later high school years, it caused my interest in the piano to meander ponderously, and my attention was claimed back by the computer.

Until one day, I was faced with a monumental challenge which asked much of my piano playing abilities. Me and my fellow classmates Olli and Milan were tasked with performing a song at the MAGS school assembly. We had chosen a song by Snarky Puppy - a fusion jazz band with only some of the worlds greatest keyboard players - and I was tasked with composing and performing a piano solo. So for the weeks leading up to that terrifying performance, I turned my back to the computer, and focussed my attention once again on the piano.

I could move my fingers over the keys, that was fine. But to compose my own bit of music? It was a whole new realm of music I had barely ventured forth into. I sat in front of my piano with a big frown, puzzled. The world of composing was like a big, dark, spacious room, and all I had was a small lantern in my hand. I felt as befuddled as I was when I couldn’t play anything at all. But I was urged onward by the impending school assembly performance. A performance in front of the WHOLE DAMN SCHOOL! I can’t mess this up..  I thought. I have to compose something at least half decent… I tinkered away for weeks. 

The day came upon, and within the snap of a finger, Olli, Milan and I found ourselves sitting awkwardly at the bottom of the stage, waiting, as the school assembly began. Names were called, awards given. Claps came and went. The live performance was announced, and the sea of heads hushed. We hobbled up the steps and took to our instruments. Suddenly, I was facing the whole school, and they were facing me. Eyes. Hundreds of them. Watching. Staring ..  This time, my fingers didn’t stop shaking when I rested them on the keys. 

Olli signalled and started the beat on the drums. Milan and I followed, bass and keys. We were in, playing Snarky Puppy’s ‘Celebrity’ for the school. One moment it was jiving, the next moment I remembered the hundreds of eyes, and felt terribly awkward. Especially in the school uniform, with my tucked in shirt.. Socks pulled up high… It was certainly no jazz concert.

My hands were still shaking when I had to pull out the solo I had been crafting for weeks. My heart beat hard. I glanced around nervously, and went for it when the beat fell. A few notes missed.. Shit! The next notes landed. The solo repeated like this. I tried to pull it through precisely as I had composed it, unsuccessfully. At one point I didn’t even know what I was playing… Thrill and adrenaline coursed through my bloodstream as we hurried off stage. Olli, Milan and I pulled through a half decent performance! We were stoked. 

When I got home, I looked at the old box of wood in the study with great curiosity. I was seeing it with new eyes yet again… I was realising that the piano is a canvas with which I could start creating things on. If I can compose 1 minutes’ worth of music, then why can’t I compose an entire piece? I sat before the keys, and let my fingers wander. It was the start of a brand new endeavour… a journey into the world of music, with my own imagination. 

And yet, the piano, that big ol’ box of wood in the study, was still the most confusing thing in the household. But now I could provide it council, and give it a voice. I didn’t know where my life was heading, or where music would take me. But I knew that I wanted to dedicate myself to a lifelong relationship with the piano; to learn it well, and become a great piano player and composer. I thought about what inspired me into this, and it was undeniably those Youtube videos of piano songs I watched on repeat. I wanted to pay homage to the origins. 

One day, I thought, I’m going to make my own piano videos for Youtube.